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Top Shelf Vittles: 12.8.97-5.15.98

  • Back to Stale Vittles
  • 5/15
    • Quigs tipped me off ta th' fact that th' new Kali beta v1.45 added Outlaws support to that TCP Game Browser function introduced in 1.44. Now that's cool; this thing lets ya post games without havin' ta leave chat open, or ta even run th' main Kali fer that matter. BUT Quigs, ArcherAce an' I found some problems. Fer one thing it doesn't display info like level, etc, an' in fact th' info it does show doesn't seem ta update well. But th' real prob izzat it only works with Directplay TCP/IP. No Winsock. Since everyone plays Winsock ('cause it's less laggy) it seems that th' TCP Browser is pretty irrelevant fer most people. Too bad. Nice ta know they're thinkin' about us, I guess, but it would'a been even nicer if they'd have check ta see how we actually play th' game. Nuts.
    • Th' "Rough Riders" have switched their site to a new URL. Dang I jus' visited th' ol' one yesterday too! A fine, fine site, fast an' elegant, an' more'a you folks need ta go check it out right now! On th' link list, obviously.
    • Upgraded my modem from x2 to V90, woo-hoo. 'Pon sober reflection I really doubt this'll help lags any, but yesterday I was so excited about it that I logged on in prime time (6:30pm PST) to try it out. Why are all those ol' OL vets in Kali talkin' 'bout Battlezone? ;p Anyhow got into an IRC match in th' "Dogshood" map which they always seem ta play over there. Mebbe 'cause it's a sniper's paradise? An' a sucker's purgatory... Miss Kitty kept poppin' me from her favorite lil' hidey hole. Ow! Kohna an' BigGun were there too. Hmm was a bit laggy at first but that went away as some laggers left. Guess only time will tell if th' V90 is doin' anything fer me.
  • 5/14
    • Well we all knew they couldn't stay away. Both Red Dragon and Diky have reportedly returned to action, Red at th' head of a revamped HSS posse, Diky partnered with Mental (who has left MaD) as the "Savage Twins" or "St" for short. How clever. Welcome back ya big galoots!
    • Backpacker wanted a good write-up so here it is. Enjoy! Well anyhow I played two games last night, lagged bigtime in both. At least in th' first one I could hit people, if only after they had killed me (!) but in th' second I was pretty much in my own lil' dimension. Can't figger it, but I'm gettin' this growin' impression that fer some reason my connect to certain parts of th' midwest/east coast is pretty shaky. Th' only other big lagger in th' second game was from th' West coast too... hmm. I mean hell I've played with hosts in Turkey an' Hong Kong that had FAR less lag than some of my games with eastern US hosts. Another idea was that it's my ISP, but my experience has been that this ISP is one of th' best around Seattle. 'Sides th' idea of offerin' free trial periods seems to have fallen outta favor amongst local ISPs so I've no way to check around fer a better one. Ugh. Guess I'll jus' hafta wait fer cable or ADSL or some other magic shinola ta spirit me outta Lagland. ;P
  • 5/13
    • Nope, no news; haven't had a chance ta play lately. Been readin' some good books though. Here's a snippet:

      "But how pale you are, to be sure ... and your hands are trembling too?"
      "Fever," he answered abruptly. "You can't help getting pale..."

      Excerpted from Crime and Punishment
      by Fyodor Dostoevsky
      translated by Constance Garnett

  • 5/8
    • Okay, USUALLY there really ain't nuttin' here but me spoutin' off about this, that an' th' other. But TODAY we've actually got some real content! Yessir, I have here EXCLUSIVE development screenshots of an honest-ta-god single player Outlaws mission pack! But hey don't take my word fer it, take a gander:
      • Shot #1 - View of a cluster of buildings.
      • Shot #2 - Inside a large warehouse. Box textures aren't aligned yet.
      • Shot #3 - In a dark basement, shot showin' off a cool gradient lighting effect on th' staircase.
      • Shot #4 - Lookin' down th' main street of a small town through a gate with a bell suspended from th' top.
      Who's makin' this add-on? Not Lucasarts! When's it comin' out? Soon enough. Where can ya get it? Stay tuned right here. ;)
    • Played a long game last night on a great new level called "Iceberg." Wow! Awesome work by Ohara an' Shifty. New textures an' everything, truly fantastic. Added a lil' drooly capsule review to th' level list, also added fellow Arctic explorers Big Jack and Buford T. Justice to th' player list.
    • Templar dropped by ta assure me that he is most definitely NOT ridin' off inta th' sunset with DirtyDon an' co., an' ta prove it beyond a doubt he threw me a copy of purty new level, "Old Mexico." Review of that up on th' level page as well. Good ta have ya back Temp... err.. that is, good ta see ya never left. Heh heh sheesh...
    • What WAS I thinkin'? Corrected a few boo-boos on th' posse page.
  • 5/7
    • Whoops I thought I was done but I fergot... some more links added ta th' link list. KaReFree's added a big slow page where he's gatherin' pics (or fake pics) of Outlaws players, go check that out. Why people wanna put their pic up is beyond me, no matter how good lookin' they might be (not that that's a problem in most cases ;p). I mean how can I play with these people now that I know what they actually look like?!? It's frightening!
    • Popped over ta th' new Zone yesterday. After downloadin' about 700K of mystery files I got in an' discovered that they've taken out th' galloping horses! Rats! Well anyhow I didn't play a game (I was in NT an' droppin' packets like a maniac) but I chatted a bit with Doses who seems all for th' new changes, sayin' that it's a bit less laggy now. That's nice, isn't it?
    • There seem ta be all kinds of new players in Kali an' I'm afraid ta show my face in there 'cause I'm so outta shape that I think a good many of these newbies could whup me. :0 An' MaDoX seems ta be lurkin' around there waitin' ta ambush me -- she shot th' %#@$*! outta me yesterday an' that was just in chat! Yeah, I'm yella. YELLA! Or wait mebbe that's jus' MaDoX's site... ;p
    • People have been hounding me mercilessly to update my link list so I finally got that done. Whew! Now I can sleep easier at night.
    • Added "Gunslingers" and "Wild Deadly Cowboys," removed "JOE" from th' posse page.
    • Added Beat boy and Twobitt to th' player list amongst a few other changes.
    • Added a note about pollin' yer ISP ta check fer packet loss in step 3 of th' "Optimize yer Dial-Up Networking Settings" section on th' file page. If yer laggy you'd better read th' whole darned thing right now!
  • 5/2
    Well gee here's what I get fer not updatin' in a while, a big pile of mails here ta sort through. Let's get crackin':
    • Th' DR gang web site is NOT down. I have my packet-droppin' ISP ta thank fer that lil' blunder.
    • MoonDoggy gave me th' beef on th' new Zone:
      "Tried the new Zone, it still lagged, but not nearly as much as it did when I played with the old Zone. Its nice, the formats a little better and its easier to get on. But when you're try' to join a game, it can take forever. Or it will just not work and you'll never know. If you're doin' fine with Undernet or KALI, don't go settin' up the zone, the software you need is still pretty bulky. Its better than the old Zone, but its still bottom of the Outlaws MP totem pole."
      Well said, Moony!
    • Moondoggy seems ta have a lot of time on his hands, he sent in a few more ideas fer that imaginary Outlaws sequel. Those'd be found on th' sequel page.
    • Okay weird stuff goin' on on Kali's Outlaws server these days. Lots of newbies showin' up that don't know a thing about lag, but it's nice ta have fresh meat er blood. Red Dragon is back, apparently he was messin' around gettin' Win98 workin'. Dirty Don, Judge, Templar, Mad Mike, Poz an' some other Outlaw vets have decided ta ride off inta th' sunset after all kinds of ridiculous charges of cheatin' an' such. Don's 7DS gang goes down with 'em. Well, I'll miss 'em. But that's what happens when ya start takin' a game to seriously, it ain't fun no more. Which is why I'm never serious about it at all. Or mebbe it's 'cause I ain't that good, I fergit.
  • 4/28
    • Th' Syndicate (SYN) has a big ol' site up. Parts under construction, but mostly done. Takes a while ta download, is it worth it? Check it out on th' link list. Oo, they also had a link ta a site I'd never seen before by th' Apocalypse Riders called th' "AR home page" which I threw on too. Thanks ta SYN Whispa for fillin' me in.
    • Okay, fast feedback on th' item below from th' DOOMINATOR. He wuz brave enough ta try th' Netscape Zone out and... it crashed. A lot. That's nothin' new fer th' Zone, but he says it crashed "almost ... everytime when I entered the room and then exited the netscape." Sounds like a blast.
    • Looks like th' new Zone is out (www.zone.com) with Netscape Navigator support... version 4.0 or higher, that is. Well I got no intention of installin' bloaty ol' Communicator, so I guess I'll jus' hafta take a pass on that. Boo-freakin'-hoo. Drop me a line if you've given it a shot.
    • Turns out that ol' Outlaw_DR had hisself a T1 connection this whole time! Dangit, if I'da known that I'd've tried ta track 'im down more often. Well he's currently offline, back in a couple weeks, I'll hafta keep an eye out in Kali. :) In th' meantime th' DR Gang web site kin be found somewhere else; where, he didn't tell me, so gimme a bit I'll go drag it out've 'im.
    • Outlaw also reminded me that "Doc Holliday's Internet Outlaws Project" is no longer at its ol' URL. If someone know where it went, lemme know. Fer now it's off th' link list.
  • 4/27
    • Looks like Texas Pete has hit th' road; took his link off th' link list. Thanks ta Badger fer rootin' that out fer me.
    • MoonDoggy must'a been hittin' th' moon sauce pretty hard lately; he's come up with some kinda crazy sequel ideas that I duly added to th' (drumroll please) sequel page.
    • Reviewed some new maps: "ENG_Vill," "Rawhide" an' also "Prairie," a new one from Lawmaker wiz Slaters_dog. Check 'em out on th' level page.
    • Th' ENG(gland) Clan site has a switched to a new URL. Looks like they've also been workin' on it a good deal. That's on th' link list, as if you couldn't guess.
    • Added th' "Wit an' Wisdom" gang ta th' posse page.
    • Added Timestalker and Beignet ta th' player page an' made some other lil' changes therein.
  • 4/23
    • That font of creativity, th' DOOMINATOR, whipped out with even MORE things he'd like in a sequel. Check thems out on that ol' sequel page.
    • StanJR tells me that th' HSS posse has disbanded after their leader Red Dragon quit Outlaws to go play Battlezone. ;p
  • 4/22
    • Oh this gets more innerestin'. Vesuvio of #Outlaws_players gave me his side of th' story:
      First, the person who told me about the sequel is a game designer who works with Origin, LEC, and others. he is personal friends with LEC lead designers, and introduced me to the Origin CEO one night in Austin. He told me that these things were true, as told him directly by the LEC lead designer. oh, and, HE'S the one who told me about the 2.0 missions pack 4 months before it came out, and gave the approx date of release. After that was announced on our news page, we were attacked for 3 months by everyone and his dog, who claimed that THEY spoke directly with (name here) at LEC and they SWEAR that there are no, and will be no, addon packs. Lo and behold, we all know the outcome -- missions came out almost to the day that our source predicted it would. So, until i hear him tell me otherwise, I'll stick with what we know works. I believe our source. Just thought you might want a little background. We've been the site to break about 3 major news stories, including the patches, missions, and the character cheat. Oh, and we are the ones who figured out how to patch the cheat as well.
      So what is one ta think? As fer me, hey, I'd like a sequel. Probably. I mean even if one came out it COULD suck. It's funny: everyone loves Outlaws so much they can't wait ta stop playin' it an' move on to a sequel. Does that make a whole lotta sense? Play Outlaws, th' game you love, have fun, an' IF a sequel pops out sometime down th' road, mebbe that'll be fun too. But don't waste present happiness worryin' about a future that may not come ta pass.
    • Regardless of whether or not there's gonna be a sequel, it's kinda fun ta think about what WE would put in a sequel if it were up ta us. DOOMINATOR has a whole bunch of idears, big an' small; check 'em out at th' bottom of th' sequel page.
  • 4/21
    • Okay, in response ta th' previous item I have heard from a certain Outlaw who's been workin' on his own add-on mission pack fer Outlaws. He has it on GOOD authority (an' believe you me, this is th' source) that there is indeed no Outlaws sequel planned, just as Shaw said repeatedly last week. Seems someone wuz playin' a mean lil' trick on those trustin' fellers at #OP. I kinda figgered... 'sides, what self-respecting software company would have a playable can-can girl in a first person shooter? ;p
    • Well this is innerestin'. No sooner did Shaw deny any plans fer a sequel than th' "#Outlaws_players" site (see muh link list) pops up with news of a sequel they claim to have gotten straight from Steve hisself. Hmm. Free dedicated LEC servers, compatibility with OL maps an' a playable can-can girl. Hmmmm... well anyhow check out their news page fer th' rest of it. Did all th' wishin' in th' Zone discussion pay off that quick or is someone pullin' our legs? Mus' say I'm skeptical, I guess 'cause Steve didn't see fit ta tell ME about it first. ;p Seriously though these guys are generally so shut-mouthed about this kinda stuff 'cause of LEC's strict policies I can't quite picture Shaw comin' out with this to th' #OP boys, 'specially less than a week after repeatedly denyin' anythin' was in th' works. My advice: don't getcher undies in a bunch 'til ya see somethin' on th' LEC site. Anyway, thanks ta StanJR fer pointin' that out ta me.
    • DOOMINATOR jus' wanted ta say:
      "DOOMINATOR LOVES OUTLAWS VERY VERY MUCH! hhehehehhe :)"
      There there, DOOMy. It'll be ALL right...
  • 4/16
    • Okay, jus' got back from th' Zone moderated discussion with Outlaws lead programmer Steve Shaw. First lemme jus' say that those fellers at Microsoft REALLY need ta come up with a better chat interface fer moderated discussions. There was jus' WAY too much chaos... rude cusses like Bioxid kept interruptin' with inane comments, an' somehow kjbd_naughtydog got ta ask TWO questions on separate occassions, an' even got back inta th' question queue a third time before th' QueueModerator figgered that one out. When I finally got ta ask a question (I was one of th' few lucky ones) they gave me like 1 second's warning-- yikes. Anyhow a good number of Outlaws got ta ask questions -- I think we actually kinda took th' discussion away from all th' Jedi Knight MotS players there. ;) Lots of questions about an Outlaws sequel, all with pretty much th' same response. I asked a different question... anyhow ya kin check out th' log of that right here. Fer future reference th' link'll be sittin' on top of th' sequel page. Steve was very diplomatic with all of us barbarians, an tried his best ta answer every question th' Moderator threw his way. Steve, you are DA man, thanks fer yer patience with all us heathen bastards. May you live long an' get ta create all th' games ya want. Thanks also to th' LITERATE Outlaws who popped in an' showed their support.
  • 4/14
    • Th' counter I installed a lil' over two weeks ago jus' hit 1000. Yee-haw. If yer IP was 207.168.246.115 you win th' big prize. ;P
    • KaReFree's made his triumphant return with a HUGE web site at a new URL. Great place ta get new levels. He's still got a few kinks ta work out, but well worth a look over on th' link list.
    • Also added "ROL LAND" and "ROL_skater400's Outlaws Hideout" ta th' linky-dink page.
  • 4/13
    • Added "Doc Holliday's Internet Outlaws Project" ta th' link page. Crazy hack files here supposedly let ya make Anderson look like a chicken an' so forth... fer those really bored with Outlaws an' life in general. Someone lemme know if'n they actually work. Thanks ta Fryster fer throwin' that bone my way.
    • Our Finnish friend Lasse Ojanen has moved on from his ol' Outlaws site to a sort of Über-Lucasarts site called "The Lucasarts Database." Can't find anything there about Outlaws, but they've jus' come out with their first online newsletter an' they've got a lotta stuff on other Lucasarts games... 'sides which Lasse (or "Bordok") works on th' thing like a fiend, so I'll be a pal an' pop up a link here:
      http://lucasarts.jedinights.com
      If Outlaws has persuaded ya that LEC is th' best games maker on th' planet, you'll like this site a whole lot. If not, go tell Bordok it's time fer a reality check. ;)
    • Added "Razorback Ridge," "Vietnam" and "Western Wars" ta th' big ol' level list.
    • Added a1slick, Cog.me, dragon, Mohave an' SaMaN ta th' player list.
  • 4/9
    • Link page stuff:
      • Raf's been addin' a bunch'a goodies ta th' MIL gang site, like levels, a message board, an' all sorts of other bells an' whistles (although he took of th' spinning pistols, thank goodness!).
      • Likewise MIL Higster's site has switched locales an' been tricked out with all sorts of spurs an' spangles too.
      • KaReFree's level site seems ta be down... he tells me he'll be up in a new spot 'round about th' 15th.
    • More anti-lag file goodness! Davrolero sent in a lil' script that detects folks tryin' ta gain an advantage by flooding ya with pings when yer hostin' an' Outlaws match.

      Right-click an' select "Save Link As..."
      scanicmpl.bat (290 bytes) Davro's script with logging
      scanicmp.bat (161 bytes) My edit with no logging

      See th' file page (step 4 under "Optimize yer Dialup Network Settings) fer th' full explanation of what these babies do.
    • KaReFree of OLMAPS fame came along with a whole bunch'a nifty ideas fer that improbable Outlaws sequel. Check 'em out on th' sequel page.
  • 4/5
    • Seems StanJr wuz a bit hasty, an' I wuz a bit sloppy in my choice of words: MaDoX tells me she jus' has a SUSPICION that some rascally varmits out there have been usin' an artificial lag program. SHE would never touch such a thing with her rifle-butt (oo there's another risky choice of words), so DON'T ask her fer one!
    • Got a newsletter from th' Zone (why oh why did I ever give 'em my old e-mail address) with a fer innerestin' tidbits:
      • A new version of th' Zone is s'posed ta be out sometime in "spring" that'll support Netscape. This version is also s'posed ta be in open beta which ya kin get at www.zone.com... of course ya need Explorer ta get in there still! ;p
      • Stephen Shaw is gonna be live on Zone chat April 16th at 6 pm PST ta talk about Mysteries of th' Sith. Why should we care? 'Cause he wuz lead programmer fer Outlaws, that's why! So go ask 'im if his latest "secret project" is in fact Outlaws 2!
    • Okay... I wuz in a game, laggy as all @#%&*! Took me 10 seconds ta respawn... Anyhow I quit, changed my MTU settings ta th' "Internet default," rebooted an' rejoined an' BINGO! No more lag! Everyone should have this lil' program: PPP_Boost (345K). It changes two registry settings that Microsoft left defaulted ta LAN rather than TCI/IP values. See th' "Optimize yer Dial-Up Networking Settings" section of th' file page fer more details.
    • While yer at it, everyone should also have UOtrace (43K), a compact lil' tracer/ping utility with an invaluable "poll" function that'll give ya a real picture of who th' best people ta play TCP/IP Outlaws with are (based on yer connection quality, that is). Again fer more on this see th' file page.
    • Took off th' large level review screenshots ta make room fer those files. So get 'em NOW darnit! EVERY TCP/IP playin' Outlaw out there should have these two programs, or some others that do th' same thing! I'm tired of playin' with laggers so GET THEM NOW!
  • 4/4
    • Taz has jus' revamped th' "Rough Riders" gang site, an' a sweet thing it is. Check that out on th' link list.
    • Added th' names of th' 7DS members an' a listin' fer th' "Syndicate" ta th' posse page.
    • Added MaDoX an' Deadeye Phil ta th' player list, updated a few of th' older listin's.
    • "zhki" wrote in with a couple of good idears fer stuff ta stick in Outlaws 2, check 'em out on th' sequel page.
    • Seems that CRIME didn't have th' exact formula fer determinin' one's correct MTU an' RWIN settings when optimizin' yer network config; see my note below his link on th' file page.
  • 4/1
    • SOD_Badger wrote in with a good idea fer an' Outlaws sequel that I've added at th' sequel page. He also wanted ta make clear that, whatever their site may say, not all SODs use th' SAWED-off shotgun. ; )
    • StanleyJr (who got it from MaDoX) tells me that there's now a program out there that freezes yer incoming packets on purpose ta give you a lag advantage over opponents. That's pretty low! Gee... here I am doin' that th' ol' fashioned way, with an overloaded local network, an' some LPB's come along with a program ta do it in one fell swoop! Lagger wanna-bes! ; P
  • 3/29
    • Well! Thanks ta all those folks like DeanWermer who wrote in with taunt tips. Th' big Taunt King cake goes ta Twobitt an' Fryster. Twobitt pointed out that I could get a list of th' taunt filenames from th' Lawmaker level editor... I had kinda suspected as much but was hoping someone would do it for me 'cause LM scares th' bejeezus outta me, but at Twobitt's prompting I took th' plunge. Couldn't figger out how ta access th' list through th' program's interface so I finally just opened a datafile called "Sounds.oll" in my text editor an' POW there they were, over 200 ".wav" file names! An' Fryster sent me some that weren't on that list, as well as lots of nifty alternate Generic voice taunts and death cries... what it all comes down to izzat there are now over 500 sounds on th' taunt list, so th' next time I play Outlaws on th' net I wanna hear some NOISE!
    • A few minor alterations ta th' player an' posse pages that'll hopefully clear up some problems a few people had reading the text. Some people were reporting text overlapping table cells which just shouldn't happen... still beats me why it did as there's no good HTML reason fer it. ;p
    • Added "Altitude Aiming Adjustment" ta th' "Tips an' Tricks" section of th' strategy page.
    • Added th' new an' oh so improved "MENTALTOWN" ta th' link list.
  • 3/27
    • Thanks ta tauntmaster Fryster an' some others I've realized that most of th' sound effects in th' game are ".wav" files that can be accessed through th' command-line. Moreover many of 'em have simple names so ya kin guess a good deal of 'em by thinkin' of things that make noise, like "bottle.wav." Well I managed ta come up with over 50 sounds an' added 'em ta th' taunt file. These are great fer freakin' people out or even misleadin' 'em, like makin' a shotgun noise ta fool 'em inta thinkin' you've got a shotgun on ya. You kin probably find a good deal more on yer own, an' if ya let me know I'll add yer sound ta th' list with yer name next to it.
    • Played a game on th' "Alien Moonbase" map fer th' first time. Man is that a fun level! If ya haven't tried it ya dunno what yer missin'. Rewrote my lil' review of if on th' level page.
    • A few changes an' additions ta th' player list.
    • Some fat lazy bastard asked fer it so I added links ta download th' Outlaws demos an' patches ta th' file page.
  • 3/26
    • Jus' did a price search fer Outlaws an' found it on sale at NECX (www.necx.com) fer th' ridiculously low price of $16.95! That's th' same price they're sellin' th' original Dark Forces for! So if ya haven't got Outlaws yet, or heck if ya jus' want a spare set of th' CD's in case yers get scratched, go there an' snatch up a copy dirt cheap.
  • 3/25
    • Well there's been a rumor about head shots hurtin' more than shots that hit ya somewhere else. I can definitely say that's pure malarky. Fryster an' I tested this out very carefully an' found that head shots hurt LESS than body shots. An' on Anderson ya can't even hit him about th' neck: shots go straight through his head. Th' plain fact is that shots that hit yer body square on do more damage than shots that hit closer ta th' edges. I hope I do get ta play someone with th' head shot fixation: I'll sure be happy when all their shots go right through me!
    • There was another rumor that takin' auto-aim off would increase th' damage yer shots do. That's false as well. Tested this with Webby; there's absolutely no damage difference with auto-aim on or off. What it DOES do is affect yer aim, an' sometimes it'll jerk yer aim off a bit, so that's why yer shots might do less damage occasionally. All in all auto-aim is a good thing, especially fer laggy games where otherwise it's impossible ta score a solid hit on people.
    • Good Webby also filled me on in Voodoo2 cards in Outlaws. Turns out those bad boys run Outlaws at jus' about th' maximum framerate possible on yer monitor... see th' Voodoo 2 addendum on th' updated Outlaws Video Comparison fer th' story.
  • 3/24
    • Added review of "Abandoned," th' gorgeous new level by Australian Lawmaker wunderkind Slaters_dog ta th' level list.
  • 3/22
    • Well I finally got through all th' levels I could find; th' levels page now sports reviews of 153 Outlaws levels. Phew!
    • On a closely related note, I discovered while reviewin' all these levels that th' multiplayer level selection list only displays th' first 100 levels, arranged alphabetically by file name. So, better be a bit picky about which files ya install (especially since 11 of those slots get taken up by Lucasarts levels). Does this mean that multiplayer Outlaws has been more popular than Lucasarts anticipated?
    • Who sez gamers have no culture? Here's a nice tasty literary nugget fer ya:

      "I...I want you to know...I have killed someone."

      He smiled as he said it, but his face was pale as chalk. Why did he have to smile like that? That was the first thought that flashed through my head, even before I had fully taken in what he was saying. Then I felt myself turning pale.

      Fyodor Dostoevsky
      The Brothers Karamazov
      translated by Andrew H. MacAndrew
      Book VI, Chapter 2 Part D, "The Mysterious Visitor"

  • 3/20
    • Added 24 more levels ta th' level list.
    • Added th' "Runnin' on Water" trick ta th' "Tips an' Tricks" section of th' strategy page.
  • 3/19
    • Added a bunch of capsule reviews to th' level page. I've got 70 levels reviewed now, so I'm about halfway through... whew...
    • Some changes an' additions ta th' player an' posse pages.
  • 3/18
    • Converted th' level list from 2 ta 1 column layout in preparation fer major additions. This format makes th' page load faster an' take up less vertical space. I've realized that with some 130 levels out there now an' more comin' all th' time there's jus' no way I'll be able ta do full reviews of all of 'em, so I'm gonna do small capsule reviews from here on out ('sides, th' screenshots were overloadin' my storage space). Hope ta be addin' lots more capsule reviews soon so's I kin get caught up.
    • Jus' so we're clear, th' autoexec.bat settings I recommended in th' Outlaws Video Comparison were fer 3dfx Voodoo cards, NOT Voodoo Rush. Frankly I've got no idea how ta tweak a Rush card 'cause apparently th' Voodoo settings don't work fer Rush.
  • 3/17
    • Hey, it's Outlaws Existentialism! This is really totally useless, but I found it out on my own without anyone tellin' me about it so I think it's th' best :D. There's a seventh "character" named "Nobody" hidden in th' game... track 'im down in the "Tips an' Tricks" section of th' strategy page.
    • After gettin' blown up a lot recently I thought it might be a good idea ta write down some nifty tricks fer TNT users - in th' Tips an' Tricks section too.
    • Additions an' alterations ta th' player list.
  • 3/15
    • Well those 'lil Women of Outlaws worked their feminine wiles on me... Go check out their site on th' link list, it's a nice change of pace from us blustery mens...
    • More goodies but no time--more stuff later today or tomorrow...
  • 3/14
    • That 'lil peach of a steely-eyed killer, MaDoX, dropped me off some tasty 'lil tidbits of info:
      • Seems HEAT.net has an Outlaws multiplayer section. But ya kin only play with up ta 4 people at once, an' it's through some kinda weird IPX emulation an' it takes ferever ta download th' 5 MB HEAT software an' even longer ta get th' th' playin' area where there are no players anyway. So I guess what I'm sayin' is don't look fer me there ;P.
      • Well it seems that in addition ta bein' able ta talk ta jus' yer teammates, ya kin whisper ta individual players in a game! Wow. Mebbe not too practical except fer underhandedly conspirin' against yer fellow, but neat nonetheless. Find out how it's done in th' "Tips an' Tricks" section near th' bottom of th' bloated strategy page.
    • If you've been readin' this fer a while ya know I've had problems with "warping" from place ta place in multiplayer games, unable ta hit anyone except with bitter complaints. I got some network settings from Lucasarts but while some players told me they helped them they jus' exacerbated my difficulties. But I'm pleased ta say I've found some new settings that that have so far done away with my warpiness altogether! If you've been laggin' (an' who hasn't at one time or another?) check 'em out on th' file page.
    • We recently lost a great player; th' talented an' gregarious Dikyolero had ta hang up his guns due ta th' outrageous phone bills he racked up from playin' Outlaws. Apparently in his UK ya git charged fer every minute of even local calls so his hours connected to his ISP really mounted up into some grotesquely high phone charges. Rather than try ta control his addiction he decided th' only route was to go cold turkey, leavin' Outlaws altogether.
      Well damnit this sucks! He was one'a th' best players around an also one of th' most enjoyable ta play. So I'm startin' a "SAVE TH' DICKSTER" fund-raiser: go to "Th' Dickster's Outlaws Page" from my link list an' e-mail him yer support. I don't have his address, but I'm sure if ya e-mail him an' mention that yer gonna send him some gold bullion, travelers checks or whatever ya got layin' around so he kin afford ta shoot ya in Outlaws he'll tell ya right where ta send it. Err..
    • Oops! I messed up on one of th' 3dfx autoexec.bat settings in my recent Outlaws Video Comparison. It actually doesn't make any framerate difference in Outlaws but ideally ya should have "SST_FASTPCIRD" set ta "1" rather than "0." Dunno how I flubbed that one up; thanks ta Martone fer settin' me straight.
    • Met lotsa new players recently that I'm pleased ta record in th' player list.
  • 3/11
    • Okay I guess I'm always th' last ta know these things... contrary ta what I originally wrote on th' Game-Specific Strategies page there IS a way ta whisper ta just yer teammates in a Team or CTF game... see th' "Tips an' Tricks" section of th' strategy page fer th' full scoop. Why oh why didn't I know this before?
    • Added th' "Official Home of the Outlaws Knights Who Say Ni!" ta th' Big Ol' Link List. Quite a zany site. Yes, that's "zany" with a "z."
  • 3/8
    • I promised it to ya an' here it is: th' Outlaws Video Comparison, everything ya need ta know about Outlaws video stuff... well at least ya might find somethin' here of use, we got screenshots, charts, 3dfx tweaks an' more goodies than you kin shake a sixgun at! Fer future reference ya kin get ta this article from th' file page.
    • Oopsie! Turns out some of th' stuff I made up about th' current state of th' JOE gang wasn't quite true :). Thanks ta A1slick fer gettin' me th' real scoop; I've updated their entry on th' posse page.
    • Ahh! New site overload!! Added "KaReFree's Outlaws Cavern," "Patty's Outlaws Page," "Bounty Hunterz Home Page," "Home of the MWG," "COF_Bandito's Rancho Notorious," "ENG(land) Clan Hideout," "Elders Online: Outlaws," "MAD: Malicious and Deadly" and "The Quick Draw Expression" to th' link list.
  • 3/6
    • Well since first writin' up my strategy page I've learned th' painful way that Outlaws' different play modes (ie deathmatch, team, etc) each require particular strategic variations ta ensure success. So I done whipped up a Game-Specific Strategies page containin' what few nuggets of wisdom I kin offer. Fer future reference you'll find th' link that page on th' main strategy page.
  • 3/3
    • It's now 3 for, 2 against fer th' new logo. That deadeye from Hong Kong, th' DOOMINATOR, had this metaphysical insight (he's one'a those against):

      The old one gave a much more clear sense of "GOOD, BAD" rather than the now with one eye opened and another eye closed. :)

      In Chinese slang, there is "One eye opened one eye closed" which means with don't want to talk about those bad things and let them pass.

      I'll confess DOOMy's put a lot more deep thought inta th' thing than I did. I hadn't even considered th' open/closed eye as a kind of yin/yang dichotomy; I jus' wanted it ta look critical an' ta take up less vertical space than th' old logo. But hey, I let bad things pass, don't I? Hmm.. no I guess I kinda harp on 'em at length. Mebbe I should stop bein' critical an' jus' let th' logo glare at people, sayin' it all with one glance? Well, while in the more sensitive Chinese society that might work, I think here in th' U.S. we usually hafta hit each other over th' head ta make a point. Not that I'm encouragin' ya ta hit people upside th' head, mind ya!
    • Fer those innerested, th' new logo was drawn in Painter 4 with a "pencil" effect, then colored with Painter's "watercolor" brushes. I imported that inta Photoshop where I messed with th' gamma, saturation, etc an' of course added th' letterin'. Oh yeah as a final touch I sharpened th' eyeballs. Ta give ya a visual idea of th' process, here's th' original "pencil" drawing, th' drawing with "watercolors" applied an' th' final version before lettering.
  • 3/2
    • Hey remember a week or so back I told ya about that trick where ya could fall from any height with nary a scratch? Well I figgered out a slightly easier way ta do it... check th' updated info in th' "Tips an' Tricks" section waaaay at th' bottom of th' strategy page.
    • It's now two "nays" an' one "yea" fer th' new logo. Of course me bein' th' optimistic type I value th' "yea" over th' two "nays." I'm still lookin' fer opinions on it, but please keep in mind that th' only type of criticism that helps is constructive criticism; don't just say "It sucks" but tell me why it sucks!
  • 3/1
    • Th' #Outlaws_players web site is finally back online! They've got their weekly tourney results there--Dicky won fer th' 2nd week in a row! Anyway check that out fer yerself on th' link list.
    • Changes an' additions ta th' player an' posse pages.
    • So far I've got one vote on th' logo, an' it's in th' NEGATIVE :(. Don't be shy, lemme know whatcha think (see th' link ta th' old logo below fer comparison's sake). Also if ya missed this earlier this week, this site looks crappy in 16 bit color! Check it out in 24 bit (ie "True" or "32 bit") fer th' full, awe-inspirin' effect. It's not 'sposed ta look pink!
  • 2/28
    • BOO! Lemme know whatcha think of my new logo. Fer comparison's sake take a gander at th' old logo. An' while yer subconscious is workin' on that, chew on this here 'lil literary morsel which, removed from its proper context, now takes on an entirely new meaning:

      They were nearly all pale people. Some had hair white as snow, and yet were quite young people. Some were always talking about Hell, Eternity, and God; and some of all things as fixedly decreed...

      Herman Melville
      Pierre, Or, The Ambiguities
      Book 6, "First Part of the
      Story of Isabel," chapter 4

    • Thank you, Herman! Lesse, in other "news" a kindly soul provided me with a Deltron Realvision Flash 3D. That's a voodoo 3dfx card, one-a th' more obscure but faster ones. So far I've managed ta boost th' Outlaws framerate by 60% with a 'lil tweakin'... so I guess th' next big feature on this site'll hafta be an Outlaws 3dfx Guide, with framerates, comparision screenshots an' tips on how ta pump th' top Outlaws performance outta these lovely 'lil cards. Look fer that right here in th' next week or so.
    • Speakin' of which, with th' voodoo 2 cards comin' out, now's th' perfect time ta pick up an' ol' voodoo card real cheap. I've got a ASUS RIVA AGP-V3000 card that does everything real well in Direct 3D, but of course Outlaws only supports 3dfx's Glide. So this card is JUST for Outlaws hehe. An' while we're on th' topic of cheap stuff, th' latest catalogue sent me by Lucasarts advertises Outlaws fer jus' $30 an' I think I've seen it $25 mail-order... so if ya wanna get inta Outlaws, there's NO time like th' present!
  • 2/27
    • Okay it seems I was a mite optimistic. I hit lag last night in a big way. At one point I left a game an' pinged it... th' ping wuz over 6000! So I'm thinkin' that my main problem all along izzat I'm playin' with a buncha laggers! Dang I gotta play earlier in th' day... Well as soon as I get a certain piece of hardware I'm gonna host my OWN dang games all th' time, an' give laggers a taste of my big ol' BOOT!
    • That top cat from #Outlaws_players on th' Undernet, Vesuvio, pointed out ta me that most of th' level designers mentioned in my level section hang out on th' OP channel. That's a good point, I've run inta lessee Taz, Shok, Dryft, an' Taco there at least. So if yer innerested in level craftin', stop on by!
  • 2/26
    • No doubt you've gotten tired of me bitchin' about my lag woes of late. Believe me I was sick of it too. Well after weeks an' weeks of tweakin' my software an' hardware ta no avail I finally got fed up an' reinstalled Win95. Presto! Problem solved! Sheesh.
    • Still, somethin' bizarre happened when I was playin' yesterday. After leavin' a game while it was in progress and joinin' in a second game I still saw th' messages (like "PlayerX killed PlayerY!") from th' first game! That kinda freaked me out. I quit Outlaws an' reloaded but they were still there. Checkin' my Dial-Up status box showed data still transferrin... Finally I had to hang up and reconnect to my ISP. Freak-E!
    • I jus' noticed that this site looks PINK in 16 bit color. Eww! Please please if ya can, check it out in 24 bit color (what Win95 calls "True" or "32 bit" color). Not only that, in Win95 with IE 3.02 on a 16 bit screen there are little white dashes next ta th' menu buttons fer no good reason. Bih-zarre!
    • Added a new section "Timing IS Everything" to th' strategy page. This was inspired by playin' yesterday against Mentolero, BlackDeath an' steelonsteel.
    • Th' Dikster popped by with a real cool tip on how ta use TNT without runnin' out! No kiddin'! Check that out in th' tips an' tricks section at th' bottom of th' ever-expandin' strategy page.
    • Additions an' changes ta th' player page.
  • 2/24
    • Where have I been lately? Lag City! I'm happy ta announce that th' Dial-Up Networking settings Lucasarts gave me have helped out jus' about everyone who tried 'em. Except me. In fact they made things worse! I think I'm gonna write a book someday on th' multitudinous varieties of lag an' how ta vary yer type of lag so ya don't get bored. Oh, if ya missed 'em check those settings out on th' file page.
    • When I went ta pop inta th' Zone this weekend (don't ask me why, it's too embarrasin') I was pleasantly surprised ta find that since MS had made a new version of th' Zone sometime in th' past week or so, I had ta wait an' download a megabyte's worth of files before I could get in. Didn't see any particular changes in th' Outlaws Zone; if anyone knows of any lemme know.
    • Well Lucasarts was kind enough ta ship me a demo CD. It's got th' old Outlaws demo on it so now I kin jus' take this with me ta show Outlaws ta muh friends. How handy. Had a bunch of other junk on it - th' Curse of Monkey Island demo is pretty hilarious. However, th' really amusin' stuff on this CD is on th' slipcover. On th' front it says "Disc brought to you by America Online. Free 50 hour trial! America Online instructions inside!" But if yer clever enough ta look at th' back of th' cover, waaay down at th' bottom in little letters it says "Please Note: The Lucasarts multiplayer demos on this CD will not run on America Online." That about says it all right there don't it?
  • 2/22
    I stumbled into the #Outlaw_players IRC channel, right in the middle of their weekly tournament as it turned out! Despite a clever disguise th' channel op SIR_Sling recognized me so I took th' opportunity ta pester him with questions an' even though he had a tourney to run (with Dontknow) an' his own matches to compete in he wuz nice enough ta help me out of my pit of ignorance. Seems they have a tourney every Sunday at 2 pm CST, consisting on a series of rounds of 1-on-1 matches, winner is simply th' first to 10 kills. They set up a ladder of players at th' beginning so when you win a match you go on to face another match winner in th' next round an' so on up ta th' championship. Here are today's results as sent to me by SIR_Sling (who, you'll note, came closest ta beatin' th' eventual champ):
    1st Round: WAC_Dicky beats BK_Carson 10-0
    2nd Round: WAC_Dicky beats SIR_Sling 10-9
    3rd Round: WAC_Dicky beats RR_Kangoo 10-6
    Finals: WAC_Dicky beats RR_Taz 10-6
    CHAMP: WAC_Dicky! Hooray!
    I'm glad Dicky won 'cause he whupped me good twice (see th' player page) but now I don't feel so bad 'cause it seems he whups everyone! Congrats to all 26 outlaws who participated, an' if ya weren't there they always want more players so show up bright an' early next Sunday at 2 pm CST! For directions ta th' #Outlaws_players channel see th' domain page.
  • 2/20
    • We are now in The Voodoo 2 Era. That's right; Creative's 12 MB Graphics Blaster Voodoo 2, the first board to carry 3dfx's second generation 3D chipset, hit th' streets this morning. V2 is supposed ta offer 100% compatibility with all th' original 3dfx games which means it should work fer Outlaws. So when ya getcher sweaty 'lil mitts on one, lemme know:
      1. If it works with Outlaws
      2. If yes ta #1, what kinda sick, disgustingly high framerates ya get with it in Outlaws
      3. If yes ta #1, whether or not it lets ya run Outlaws in a resolution higher than 640x480
      As soon as I get reliable numbers I'll post 'em right here.
    • On a closely related note:
      Hey are ya wonderin' what ta do with that ol' Voodoo card now that ya gotcher Voodoo 2? Well it'd make a crappy coaster, so why not send it over ta ol' Paleface? Ya kin keep yer games bundle; I jus' want it fer Outlaws. But I ain't askin' ya ta part with it fer free, nossir! Here's what I'm offerin':
      1. $50 US. Jus' ship it ta me COD (that's "Cash On Delivery")
        OR
      2. Yer own page on this here site. That's right, I can be bought, an' cheap! I'll give ya full Sponsor status an' sing yer praises ta th' High Heavens as eloquently as I possibly can. Heck, I'll even scan in a picture for ya as long as it ain't too disgustin'. Now izzat a bargain or what?
      This is a limited time offer so don't miss out! Don't get stuck with an overpriced coaster--send it ta me! Contact me an' we'll work out th' details.
  • 2/19
    • Added a review of that great 'ol level Rattlesnake Ravine, really th' first good add-on map, ta th' level page.
    • I've been hittin' lag a lot lately an' I asked LEC tech support about changes I could make ta my Dial-Up Networking configuration ta fix th' problem. They jus' got back ta me with some specific settings you might try if yer laggin' a lot. I haven't tested 'em yet but they're on my file page.
    • Killercraig is back! In fact our heartfelt reunion in Kali wuz rudely interrupted by a fella who stumbled in an' then stumbled over himself in his efforts ta act like an idiot. I logged this LONG conversation with "stupid" an' stuck it up in th' Kali section of my domain page fer yer enjoyment as it's easily th' most hilarious chat session I've ever had anywhere. There is a lotta strong language so please read th' disclaimer before browsin' th' log.
    • Changes to th' player an' posse pages. Among other developments th' JOE gang has disbanded. I know, I'm all torn up about it too.
    • Saxster has made some positive changes to his site, includin' cussin' me out bigtime :)! Well all's fair in love an' web pages, but I have changed my evaluation on th' link list to cover this latest revision of his popular site.
  • 2/18
    • No longer need you be afraid of heights, dear readers! There's a 'lil trick ya kin pull ta survive a fall from any height at all. It's actually a bug in th' game, so we might as all learn ta exploit it or at least know about it so we can condemn it! I call it th' "How ta Fall from a Tremendous Height an' Survive" trick. Go read about it in th' "Tips an' Tricks" section down at th' bottom of my strategy page.
    • Added a bunch'a new sites to the link list: "MIL Higster's Outlaw Page," "MIL_R_Lupidog Rides Again," "Weekman's Outlaws Site," "Home of the Hired Guns" an' th' "LR Posse."
    • Read on OGR that th' next version of Microsoft's Zone is supposed ta support Netscape Navigator 4. When it supports Navigator 3 I'll be impressed.
  • 2/17
    • Added th' "KWSN Gang" ta th' posse page.
    • twobitt revamped his "Rustler's Canyon" level, removin' th' invisible snipin' bunkers. Looks pretty good (look fer version 2.0). Removed its capsule review from th' level page so I kin write a full review after playtestin'. Added capsule reviews of "Sanctuary 2" an' "New Gulch."
    • Added a few players ta my player list.
    • Dunno if any of you care, but I jus' found out about a handy shortcut fer takin' screenshots. Instead'a jus' hittin' th' "Print Screen" key an' copyin' th' whole screen' ta th' clipboard, you kin hold "ALT" as you hit "Print Screen" to copy only the current window. Now ain't that convenient?
    • Added th' neat 'lil site "'Texas' Pete Hufnagel" an' "Chickenhawk's Web Coop" ta th' link list.
  • 2/14
    Yay! O' how nice it is ta play a game where lag ain't a factor. I feel much much better. Thanks fer hostin' that one DirtyDon! That wuz my first time on that wunnerful 'lil level so I done fried up a review of Kentucky.
  • 2/12
    • You ever have that nightmare where you have a gun but when ya try ta use it ta defend yerself it's jus' useless? Well welcome to my world, that's how every Outlaws match I've played in th' past week or so has felt. ARG! I dunno what's 'causin' this weird lag, but I'm close ta my wit's end. My ISP is 'sposed ta get brand new modems on th' 16th so mebbe then it'll get better.
    • Ferget where exactly, but a few days ago on some game site I saw an interview with Stephen Shaw. Shaw wuz th' co-developer an' lead programmer on Outlaws, an' his team at Lucasarts has jus' finished up their add-on fer Jedi Knight, entitled "Mysteries of th' Sith" or somethin'. It's gettin' great reviews, but th' thing that sparked my interest was at th' end of th' interview, when they asked him what he was workin' on next. Well, he's definitely workin' on somethin' TOP SECRET. I'll bet it ain't Outlaws 2, but it COULD be durnit!
    • Messed around on th' player an' posse pages. Amongst other things, KAP_Disciple whupped me so thoroughly I felt compelled ta add him ta th' players list.
    • Re-reviewed th' "Blues Brothers' Home Page" on th' link list ta reflect their recent overhaul. Frankly, it's a fantastic site, so be sure ta check it out.
  • 2/9
    • That handy TZO Internet Naming Utility is outta beta an' now in official release. Stop by my file page ta get th' latest version. Or you could go get it at PC Gamer where it's one of their 4 featured utilities, th' others bein' DirectX 5, GameSpy, an' MoSlo. Jus' remember, I had it first damnit!
    • Added th' new "GBD Hideout" ta th' link list.
  • 2/8
    • This fella BeelzyBob had so many idears fer an Outlaws sequel that I hadda put 'em up on their own page. Don't worry, there's a nice 'lil link from th' main sequel page. Beezly put a lotta thought inta these so check 'em out!
    • I've been tryin' ta play without auto-aim an' crosshairs fer th' past 3 weeks or so. I've gotten used ta aimin' without crosshairs; in fact they seem like an obstruction ta my view if I turn 'em on now. But I'm gonna hafta turn auto-aim back on, 'cause in laggy games (ie jus' about every game) auto-aim tends ta compensate fer th' fact that yer opponent may not actually be quite where it looks like they are. Also, in one game where I was "warpy" an' couldn't hit anyone, th' warpiness disappeared as soon as I turned auto-aim back on. So I'd recommend havin' it on.
    • Luke_Sky had an idea fer th' sequel.
    • Added th' "NAO Homepage" ta th' big list o' links.
    • Added a capsule review of "Deadly Town" an' a full review of Frenchie's refreshin' new level "OGB_Fort."
    • Small additions an' changes ta th' player an' posse pages.
  • 2/4
    Will I EVER conquer my weird warpy lag?!? Anyway messed a bit with th' player, posse an' link pages.
  • 2/3
  • 2/2
    Well there are a heck of a lotta levels out there, an' more comin' out all th' time. It's apparent ta me that there's no way I'd be able ta review all of 'em an' frankly there are many that, fer some reason or other (mostly 'cause they jus' suck) don't deserve a full review. So I've added a buncha small capsule level reviews ta th' level reviews page of those levels that I ain't ever gonna bother writin' a full review for. Enjoy!
  • 2/1
    • Popped up a review of another great Kbyrne/mfs level, this one's called Lawmen.
    • Took advantage of Egghead's liquidation sale ta snap up a copy of Worms 2. If yer into turn-based strategic blowin' up of 'lil wormy guys, this is th' game fer you. Speakin' of good sequels, why don'tcha click over ta my Outlaws Sequel Ideas Page an' see if you kin' think of a way ta make Outlaws EVEN better!
  • 1/31
    Man, what is it about this game that can keep me up 'til 5:30 am, shootin' an' gettin' shot over an' over? Met a bunch'a new people last night as I've developed this habit of poppin' inta all three areas, Kali, IRC an' th' Zone, all at once ta gather players fer a game. Now over 50 people on my player list; I've played many more than that, but either in a laggy game where I couldn't really judge their skill, or at some random time where I fergot ta take notes :{.
  • 1/29
    • Ooh, how embarrassin'! It's "Saxster," with two S's, not "Saxter." Darn them trick letters! I think I'll jus call him "Sax" from now on so I don't keep screwin' that up. Anyway go look at his site it's been updated of late. An' Sax, you kin call me "Palface."
    • Changed, rearranged an' supplemented th' posse an' player pages. I played a buncha games las' night but all but two were laaaaaaaaggy fer me :(, so if I wuz in a game with ya but yer not listed I apologize, I couldn't get a good idea of yer playin' skills 'cause I wuz all lagged up. Arg! My ISP used ta be so dependable.
  • 1/28
    • Saxter updated his link page recently so I took th' opportunity ta swipe links fer th' followin' sites from him: ""Z" HQ's Underground," "The Home of The Bananas in Pyjamas Gang," "Frenchie's Outlaws Site" and th' "Shotgun Shitheads' Saloon."
    • Good 'ol Kodia sent me some more info about th' BMG posse, which you'll find (surprise surprise) on th' posse page.
    • Davrolero had some good ideas that I added ta th' sequel page, an' I also added him ta th' WAC posse listin'. Thanks Dav!
  • 1/27
    • I've been thinkin' lately about what I'd like ta see in an Outlaws sequel if there ever is one. I'm sure everyone can come up with a buncha stuff they'd like ta see in th' follow-up ta their favorite game: here's my two cents.
    • Added a link to my "Dead Reckoning" page at th' bottom of th' strategy page
  • 1/25
    • DOUBLE or TRIPLE yer framerates with th' MGL video drivers!
      If you don't have a 3dfx voodoo display card you may be able to vastly increase yer Outlaws fps (frames per second) by usin' th' little-known MGL video drivers that come on yer Outlaws CD! See th' file page fer th' full details. I clocked a top speed of 169 fps on my p2 233mHz system! Who needs Voodoo? This is th' most useful thing on this entire site!
    • Added "BIG_GUN," "Ian" an' "JAVALina" ta th' player page.
    • Good 'ol Martone went through my link list an' discovered that th' "GBD Webpage," "ICD FOREVER" an' "Team SWE" sites are gone so they've been removed. Th' first two are no great loss; SWE had a pretty cool site so I hope it's still up somewhere. Thanks fer yer vigilance Martone!
    • Martone AND Dickyolero both let me know about a 'lil automated ladder site called "The Outlaws Bounty System." I think Dicky jus' wanted everyone ta see how he's currently king of th' ladder at 14-0. Well heck good fer him. It's on th' link page.
    • Outlaw informed me that th' "DR Gang Web Site" has changed URL an' has been improved even more. Check out their newsletter! Thanks ta everyone who helps me keep th' link list current!
  • 1/22
    • Th' "Outlaws" site by GR_Gamer is undergoin' recontruction so I noted that on th' link page.
    • Added "CombatKid," "Hoss," an' "Panix" ta th' list of players.
    • I get to continue my crusade to save potentially fun levels from th' cripplin' disease of invisible sniper's nests in my review of th' new level HiDive.
  • 1/21
    Hey, I found out whut some'a them supposedly "useless" cheat codes do. OLSHAW in particular is a great one. See th' addendum at th' bottom of th' cheats list fer th' full scoop.
  • 1/20
    • Added "Outlaws Gang Busters Headquarters" to th' big list o' links.
    • Added reviews of two great new levels: Carlsbad Caverns, adopted from th' underground parts of Lucasart's "Simms" level, an' El Trencho, a gorgeous new level from SIR_Taco.
    • Saw "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" again last night. What a great film. Gee, that music sounds rather familiar...
  • 1/18
    • The CAN gang has moved their site an' revamped it considerably; see th' link page fer details.
    • Those friendly fellers at TZO have cut th' price fer a virtual domain down ta just $20/year. Now I think jus' about everyone kin afford it ('cept dirt poor beggars like me).
    • Added an awesome new site, "Wildcat Country," to th' link page. Don't miss this one! Thanks ta his link list I wuz able ta change mine a bit:
      Changed URL for "Badbart's Hideout," added "Blues Brothers Posse," "COP Posse Homepage," "Home of the Dirty Dozen," "EBH Homepage," "Sucky Shootin' Guys Ranch," "WACvilla," "Case's Internet Gaming Ladder" and "The Women of Outlaws." Thanks Wildcat!
  • 1/16
    • Oops, "Zathoros'" site is back on th' link list. Sorry fer, uh, removin' ya there bud. No hard feelins?
    • Well my wrist is still givin' me an occasional twinge so I went an' got myself an ergonomic keyboard. First I did a bit a' research an' settled on th' Acer "Future" keyboard. Then I found an Acer distributor near me an' rustled one up fer jus' $60, 'bout $40 less than the normal sale price. Heh heh. Only time will tell how ergonomically beneficial it is but I'll be darned if it ain't th' meanest lookin' keyboard I ever laid eyes on. But how does it work fer Outlaws, yer askin? Look fer me on Kali this weekend an' I'll letcha know.
  • 1/14
    It's been a while since I got any new ones up there but I've finally added another level review. This one's fer th' OkCorral, one'a my favorite levels.
  • 1/11
    Added text ta th' file an' domain pages ta th' effect that until th' TZO reader comes out you kin try pingin' "paleface.tzo.com" ta see if I'm online an' what my IP number is. Then you kin try joinin' a Winsock game at that address. Don't bother lookin' fer me fer a few more days 'cause my wrist is still botherin' me a little :(.
  • 1/10
    I saw Clint Eastwood's "The Outlaws Josey Wales" last night. Like most of Clint's directorial work it's a bit wooden an' clumsy at times, but as th' film goes on an interestin' cast of characters makes things more interestin'. This film has a nice feel of period authenticity in th' scenery, sets, costumes an' cast. Slow an' stodgy at times but ultimately worth watchin'.
  • 1/9
    DOA_Smokey filled me in on th' fact that "The DOA Territory" is gone 'cause there's so much good stuff over at th' DOA's other site, "Dead on Arrival," so I updated th' link page accordingly.
  • 1/8
    • Changes on th' link page: added th' "MIL gang Homepage," changed th' review of "Six String's Cantina," fixed th' link ta "Saxster's Outlaws Hideout" so it goes to his main page (he had that darned redirect up anyways), added a link ta "Saxster's Outlaws Q&A Forum" (which doesn't have a redirect on it), deleted "COF Bandito's Rancho Notorious" since it's now called th' "Outlaws DOA Posse Homestead" which I had a link to already (oops), deleted th' defunct "GBD Webpage" link, altered "Hansum's" review ta reflect th' inactivity there, deleted th' defunct "KBryne's Outlaws Levels" an' "Lonely Stangers Saloon" links, Mr. Snappy fixed his spellin', put "Outlaws - Best of the West" together with "Bounty Hunters" 'cause they were actually th' same site (oopsie), deleted Sinnkat's defunct "Outlaws Gunslinger" an' th' Grifter's absent "Snapshot Spaniards Outlaws Gang," deleted th' "Spitin Horse Saloon" since it's now part of "Darkjedi.com," "Tucker's Outlaws Page" seems ta be leavin' us, changed review of "WAC'ed Outlaws" a bit, an' Zathoros' site is gone." Phwew!
    • Saw Sergio Leone's second spaghetti western, "For A Few Dollars More" last night. A great film although I think it suffered a bit from bad editing as there were a few confusing bits. Th' best part is Gian Maria Volonte's emotional and utterly convincing portrayal of the pot-smokin', incestuous an' jus' plain crazy gang leader Indio, th' film's big bad guy. An' here's a piece of trivia that I didn't know until today: Volonte also played Ramon, th' big bad guy in Leone's first western, "A Fistful of Dollars." It's pretty amazin' considering how different th' characters are; heck, I didn't recognize him at ALL in "For a Few Dollars More."
  • 1/7
    Updated th' link to th' Comancheros' web site. Their leader Harmonica tells me that he's joinin' th' army so he won't be able to play as much after next Tuesday, which is jus' as well fer me 'cause he wants ta shoot me up a bit so's I'll put him on my player page hehe.
  • 1/6
    • Hard-core web searchin' led me ta five more Outlaws sites, which I duly added ta th' link page although we're kinda gettin' to th' bottom of th' proverbial barrel with a few of these...
    • Applied for a listing in Yahoo an' added that grabby e-mail link above. Man, it's gonna be a loooong week. Be a pal, send me some e-mail ta help me stave off Outlaws withdrawal.
  • 1/5
    • "Cotton I Joe" kicked my butt so bad I added him to my player section an' rewrote my review of his character Bob Graham. He also made me screw my wrist up some more, so I'm gonna try to take at least a week off from playin'. Owie. I need one'a them ergodynamic keyboard thingamajigs.
    • A bunch of changes to th' domain page:
      • Added Kali, mIRC an' Zone screenshots
      • Rewrote a bit of th' Kali an' Undernet stuff
      • Added An Outlaws Sunday, logs of 14 straight hours in Kali an' mIRC. Jus' fascinatin' stuff. Freudian even, I'm gonna write a book someday. Also contains th' solutions to th' mystery of "Il Cattivo" which wuz drivin' some people crazy.
    • Added th' "Bounty Hunterz Den" to th' link page.
  • 1/4
    Added "Goulidov Slava's Outlaws Page" to th' links list an' changed th' Lawmaker link to "Darkjedi.com."
  • 1/3
    • Added "Red Dragon's Gang" an' "The Sergio Leone Home Page" to th' link section.
    • I had th' pleasure of seein' Leone's "Once Upon a Time in the West" twice in the last two days. It was a video, an' it wasn't letterboxed, but it's still a great movie although those with short attention spans (an' I know a lotta you Outlaws have ADD) will probably hate it as it's three hours long and lotsa that time is just close-ups of actor's eyes. It's got Charles Bronson instead of Clint Eastwood (who was in Leone's earlier "Dollar" movies) but Bronson does a good job, although Jason Robards steals th' show as th' rascally outlaw Cheyenne. A gorgeous film.
  • 1/2
    I'm mulling over a code of conduct I call "Dead Reckoning" that involves configuring several options to make it harder to hit people. This is still in the idea phase, but I'm lookin' fer feedback. Read about it here.
  • 1/1
    • Added two excellent sites, "DeanWermer's Outlaws Levels" an' "She Did It Her Way - Doc's Woman" to th' link page.
    • Made some additions an' corrections ta th' posse an' player pages.
  • 12/31
    • Added not just one but FIVE Outlaws sites to my link page. This brings th' total up to 85 Outlaws site links! An' it's yer duty, as a studious Outlaw seekin' to better yerself, ta visit each an' every one, hombre! Well okay there're a few I'd skip, that's why I went ta th' trouble of reviewin' 'em all for ya.
    • Added some tips on configurin' options an' usin' th' good ol' "circle-strafe" manuever to th' "Tips an' Tricks" section of th' strategy page. This is stuff every new player should learn real quick ta prevent unwanted lead ingestion.
  • 12/30
    I finally got off my keister an' updated a number of things includin' addin' some links, players an' posse.
  • 12/29
    • There's a new beta version of that handy-dandy TZO utility; y'know, th' one that hooks you up to th' service that gives ya a virtual domain name which fer Outlaws purposes is basically a static IP address. Read about whut's new in this version on my file page.
    • I finally saw "A Fistful of Dollars" all th' way through. Now I know where Outlaw's "boilerplate" armor comes from. If ya haven't seen this movie you'd better go rent it right now, an' then play Outlaws an' see if you kin act as cool is Clint Eastwood.
  • 12/23
    • Well shoot. I've been doin' testin' of Outlaws in Windows NT. Did a framerate comparison test today: I get a 10-25% performance increase in NT versus Win95! That's no small potatoes, ya rube! But of course NT Outlaws has lots of problems which hopefully will be solved with a patch. Hello? Any Lucasarts folks lissnin'? Sigh. I know th' market ain't really there, but it'd be pretty awesome.
    • Doin' my holiday shoppin' t'day I saw th' official Lucasarts Outlaws hint book next ta th' cash register at Egghead. Tell ya whut, I kin save ya $20: if yer so hopeless that ya need level walkthroughs, go git 'em fer free at Roger's site (see muh links page) an' if it's handy tips yer after you'll find many more at this here site. Not that I'm inta tootin' my own horn or nuthin'.
  • 12/22
    I'm so embarrassed; how could I have forgotten? That crazy Waccolero's birthday wuz on th' 18th an' in all th' excitement I plum fergot about updatin' this here page. Let's all give him a kind word an' a pat on th' back 'cause he's such a big boy now - seven or eight, I think. Happy B-Day Wacco!
  • 12/19
    • Done testin' Outlaws NT. Outlaws WILL run in NT on my system, but with a number of glitches. Guess I'll hafta keep Win95 around fer a bit... anyway ya kin read all about my NT adventures from the link on my file page or ya kin go straight to th' story.
    • There's a new version of th' TZO Internet Utility out, an' I've got it on my file page. Now ya can get th' IP addresses of those usin' the service automatically, which is real handy fer playin' winsock games.
    • Added a discussion on th' relative merits of Winsock an' DirectPlay Outlaws games. Which one is better? You kin probably guess, but check out my domain page anyway.
  • 12/18
    Whut has Paleface been doin? Has he abandoned ya fer Quake 2? Well don't get a burr in yer britches, yellowbelly, I'm still around. I've been installin' Windows NT which is more fun than a bag of wet cats. It's pretty much up an' runnin'; now I gotta fine tune things. I still keep Win95 around too... why? Ta play Outlaws with, of course! If anyone kin show me how ta run Outlaws in NT, I'll give ya a HUGE REWARD! I'm'a gonna be tryin' ta figger that out over th' next couple'a days, but I ain't too optimistic.
  • 12/11
  • 12/10
  • 12/9
  • 12/8
    • I got muh own virtual domain name fer hostin' multiplayer games! You kin get one too with th' TZO utility (currently in beta). See th' file, domain an' link pages fer more details.
    • Added Dickster's site ta th' links page
    • Added Mentolero ta th' WAC posse list
  • Back to Stale Vittles

 
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